Relationships and moving are hard. What’s harder than that? Moving in as a second spouse. A new relationship is exciting and wonderful, but when it comes to moving into what once belonged to your predecessor, it can be quite hard. It doesn’t matter whether your spouse is divorced or widowed, it’s still difficult to move in as a second spouse.
It seems like more and more people are facing this challenge. It is hard to move into a home that is chock full of reminders of a previous relationship. This is especially true when children are involved. Often, the kids view the new spouse as an intruder. After the move, the new spouse may feel uncomfortable in his or her new home.
If you ask a marriage therapist, family advocate, or divorce mediator, they will often advise that a new couple make their start in a new home for both of them – if it is financially feasible. Otherwise, you or your spouse may not feel the sence of ownership of the new home.
For couples who are unable to move into a new residence, changes within the home can help. Change around the master bedroom. Redecorate the living room. If there are children, changes to their rooms should be gradual so that they can also adjust.
Jon Huser